I recently got into a discussion with a friend about music and our sons. He was starting to get concerned about what his oldest son was listening to and after a nice chat, I shared with him this email:
My son Grant and I enjoy looking for new music groups and listening to them at home, in the car, out shooting baskets, etc. We have found a good selection of music that Grant likes and that doesn’t contain “garbage” lyrics. It’s been interesting to see some of his friends around the neighborhood even picking up on these groups and they have attended some concerts together.
Sometimes I don’t screen the music we listen to. That may sound bad, but it’s actually been a good exercise in choosing together what’s garbage and what’s not. Yes, he may hear something inappropriate, but I think it’s unrealistic to think I can protect him from everything….I had a few friends whose parents did that growing up and boy were they a mess once they got to their mid-teens and into college age. It’s worth the risk to me in order to have the discussion about what he should be filling his head with. We can stop a song half-way through and talk about what the song is about and talk about if it’s good for him or not. He’s a part of the decision that way and we get to reinforce how important these decisions are. In order for our boys to become good men, they have to learn to make good decisions before they leave the nest.
If your oldest son isn’t where you’d like him to be spiritually, he likely will not react well to suggestions of “Christian” or worship music. I suggest you try to find some groups that aren’t “preachy” or specifically worship music oriented, that have positive lyrics, and are the style of music he likes – there is plenty of this out there, you just have to look hard to find it. There actually are lots of bands that fit this category and you’ll be surprised how many are not in the “Christian” bin (for example, check out Tooth and Nail). What we’ve tried to do is find a good mix of both. I think this may help you find some middle ground with him.
Here are some potential music groups your son may enjoy: