The Bouncing Man Boobs Affinity

I just remembered something funny that happened to me a few weeks ago. I call it The Bouncing Man Boobs Affinity.

I was driving through a strip mall and saw a guy coming out of a store. He needed to cross in front of me to get to his car. So I slowed down and gave the obligatory nod for him to cross in front of me towards the parking lot.

He returned to me a quick “man nod” plus bonus wave, then to be polite, he started into a slow trot toward his car. Almost as soon as he started into the trot, he immediately dropped his head and slowed to a brisk walk.

I instantly had an affinity with this stranger and knew exactly why … I even smiled and laughed a bit. Most men over 40 know exactly what I’m talking about.

As soon as the trot begins, the man boobs start the juggle. As all men know, the only thing worse than having man boobs is to be seen in public with them bouncing up and down. It doesn’t take long for the juggling action to make it to the brain which sends impulses to the feet to stop (NOW!) any activity that may be causing this anti-man, breast bouncing action.

Queue the female comments below … “Now you know what we have to go through…blah blah blah.”

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About

Doug Ausbury is an entrepreneur, coffee achiever, baseball addict, aspiring spousal unit, pop music geek and family man. Most of the time, he needs more cowbell...a lot more cowbell.

Posted in Life, Truly Funny
6 comments on “The Bouncing Man Boobs Affinity
  1. Ausbury says:

    Clearly, no females read my blog. Ha!

  2. Colleen says:

    Oh I read and I laugh and I read some more and I keep on laughing…

  3. Anne says:

    Ok, I am a late reader, but that is very funny. I do have to tell you that my recent major pet peeve is Simon Cowell’s man boobs. Why he wears clothes to accentuate his boobs is beyond me.

  4. […] suddenly started hurting and stopped working after I hit the 4 decade mark. This is not to mention the things that bounce (that shouldn’t) when I walk fast. However, some fool told me that 40 is the new 30 and I am pretending that this is […]

  5. Gary says:

    they would do if i never had my bra on – my boobs are a 42dd but i love them.

    i wish my nipples were bigger tho

  6. I believe what you posted was very reasonable. But, think about this, what if you were to create a awesome headline?
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Yours Truly
Doug Ausbury

Doug Ausbury is an entrepreneur, coffee achiever, baseball addict, aspiring spousal unit, pop music geek and family man. Most of the time, he needs more cowbell...a lot more cowbell.

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